What’s It Like Living in Manhattan?

Hello friends, I just wanted to write and tell you that my apartment in Manhattan is on the ground floor, facing out to the street, and quite often people walk past the window and we make very awkward eye contact.

Two-Face, Captain Jack, and Starfish in Bocas del Toro, Panama

What’s the cutest animal in the world? Chimp? Koala? Cutey wutey bunny wabbit? I can’t decide, but I saw starfish and sloths in Bocas del Toro, Panama and they should both be right up there. I stopped by Panama en-route to Bogotá, Colombia. My first impression of Panama City was that it was blander than a…

Roasting Marshmallows with an Amish Lady on a Volcano in Guatemala

If I had a bucket list, it would include getting a tattoo, snorting cocaine off somebody’s stomach, and setting up a business renting pets by the month for people who aren’t actually sure yet whether they want a dog shitting on their carpet. One thing my bucket list definitely wouldn’t include is roasting marshmallows with an Amish lady…

Public Transport in New York

I saw a dead guy. He was slumped on a bench in the subway at Columbus Circle in Manhattan underneath an advert for a new movie. He was a black guy with a white beard, maybe in his forties, blue hoodie pulled over him, and he was staring upwards with teeth clenched so tight he…

4th of July in New York, as a Brit

As a British person, I’m not supposed to celebrate 4th of July. It celebrates one of our greatest embarrassments: one of our best colonies got away. Me celebrating America’s freedom is like a rich white person celebrating the end of slavery. It’s illogical. But then I realised it doesn’t matter. If America wants to have a…

New York is… New York is… Well, New York is this…

and I take a right onto 6th avenue, this is where everyone is, workers spilling out from air-conditioned office high rises or tourists meandering wide-eyed at everything around and below and above them, then I’m past the man in his early 30s lying on the ground with a cardboard sign that says “HIV positive. Help me out. God…

Moving to New York!

I’m moving to New York tomorrow. I start with that simple statement because as I write this I’ll keep looking at it and hopefully it’ll finally sink in that it’s actually happening. It’s been months (or what feels like months) of paperwork and documents and visa shenanigans and emails and calls with my HR department to…

A Cast of Colourful Characters on Venice Beach, Los Angeles

I expected scorching heat. I expected fast cars and bikini babes. I expected Robert de Niro arguing with a homeless man about what his best role was — the homeless guy is rightly claiming Taxi Driver, de Niro’s argument is simply “Meet the Fockers is really underrated” and won’t say anything further.  But what I…

Live Jazz and a Buffet Breakfast in New Orleans

There was a man wandering up and down Canal Street in New Orleans shaking a collection tin at tourists in Hawaiian shirts. He was watching everything that went on along that road and every now and again he’d notice a traffic violation and scream things like, “No left! NO LEFT! Dumb fuck! I’ve scraped three…

Bromance in the Blue Ridge Mountains, North Carolina

We were looking for a bluegrass station on the car’s radio. Driving along this lush Blue Ridge Parkway highway in the Blue Ridge Mountains, North Carolina, bluegrass felt appropriate. We didn’t find anything so we ultimately settled for a Johnny Cash greatest hits CD my friend had in the glove compartment. As the outsider here…